Contemplations

As I sit, I ponder that it has been several months since I have last penned anything. Why? What has happened, or what has changed in my life, in my walk that I would not stay consistent in offering hope and encouragement to anyone out there who may be reading, may be following, may be struggling?

I contemplate my own sense of identity, my own struggles, my own worth, and perhaps it is in those areas where I recognize my short-comings and have listened to lies from a real enemy who wants me to fail, wants to destroy me, and yet I must come to the conclusion, that although there is brokenness, there is freedom from falsehood and lies.

Voltaire made an interesting comment that his translator rendered this way, “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” What does this mean? I believe absurd things that the enemy of my very soul has been pushing out to me and others. Absurd things such as, ‘I don’t matter’ or ‘I will never make it through this’ or whatever other absurdities, and in those absurd thoughts, I commit the atrocity (although not a physical or wicked assault) of not being able or willing to listen to the living God who tells me the truth, and never lies to me.

Matthew 13:15, these words are scribed in the pages of the sacred text, and should be etched into my heart and mind for future reference.

“For the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, so that I should heal them’ (NKJV).

Have my eyes been so closed? Have my ears been closed to the voice of my Savior? Has my heart been dulled, hardened, and void of understanding? Why have I not turned around to see Jesus and experienced healing?

He wants to provide freedom from intrusive thoughts and depressive pains that we may all experience from time-to-time, but not only does He want to provide this, He is the only One able to extend the offer of hope, a hope-filled existence and life with meaning and purpose.

I must choose to listen to Him and must by extension reject those voices that try to push the lies of the world onto me. The world and the lusts and vanities are fleeting and passing away (see 1 John 2:15-17).

What about for those who have a traumatic brain injury (TBI), or PTSD, or something that is hindering the cognitive functioning? Let me remind each of us - myself largely - the Holy Spirit of God is not limited to what we see, think, or touch! He is God almighty and is not unable to provide hope or healing, or grace or strength. He is more than able and wants us to see with our eyes wide open, hear with our ears unrestricted, understand with our hearts and then turn to Him and be healed.

We can only do this as we allow the spiritual nature of the Holy Spirit into our lives, into our pain and desperation. I know this sounds difficult, or even impossible to consider, but it is accurate - the Holy Spirit is our comforter, our counselor, and desires to honor the Lord and reveal the Living God to the dying world. One way He wants to work this - is through our life, the lives of broken and messed up people. He wants us to trust in God with all our hearts (see Proverbs 3:5-6), and this means even when it does not make sense, or when we cannot see the outcome, or when the outcome does not look so good.

As I pen this, I realize that I have gotten off track, trusted in myself more than the Living God who is always trustworthy, unlike this guy, who can’t be trusted to do dishes. I have focused on me, my needs, pain, struggles and must again fall on my knees and trust the almighty God who is waiting and willing to bring hope again into my head and heart.

Do I hurt with emotional, spiritual pain? Yes. Is God still worthy to be praised? He is.

Do I battle inner turmoil that no one else knows about? Yes. Does this mean God is not able to be trusted? Absolutely not. Listen to these words from the apostle Paul,

“And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffest me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10< NKJV).

He is able, and in my weakness, He is making me strong through His mighty and effective power at work through me already.

Can I trust Him? Yes, a resounding “YES” because He is worthy! He can walk me through my biggest pain, and longest suffering, and it will be worth waiting for His timing through the trial because I know that His comfort is better than anything the world can offer me. His hope is greater than any riches, and in my pain, He shows me His scars, and I can endure with patient expectations and eager hopes of a life worthy of His sacrifice on the cross.

I trust this blesses someone -

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