Neuropathways…
Throughout the blogging process, I have spoken on healing and comfort, restoration, and hope through the living God. I believe this is true, I have witnessed His hope and restoration personally, I have observed His comfort, and experienced His healing.
It must be stated, however that in traumatic experiences, the neuropathways, or plasticity of the brain changes, thoughts may get cluttered, people may not have the ability to rationalize or move ahead due to such traumatic exposure which may cause TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), or other patterns of unseen damage.
Soldiers who may have been exposed to the realities of combat, may have witnessed events, or had some explosion cause shock/blast waves which altered the brain in a moment. However it is looked at, trauma is a painful reminder of the fragile nature of mankind. God has created us (Genesis 1:26-27) uniquely, wonderfully, and fearfully (see Psalm 139). We are also dependent on His grace, mercy, kindness, hope, healing, love, compassion, and so many other things which this world cannot offer.
God provides hope where the world offers a temporary fix.
The world has stuff to give, but it is fleeting and falls short compared to the surpassing riches only found through the love of God.
God offers redemption and hope for eternal healing, the world cannot fathom this truth.
So? Our brains are wired through the eyes of a purposeful creator God. He knit us together before we were born (see Psalm 139). He is the author of our lives, and knows us personally and intimately.
My brain, however, can be impacted negatively or positively through experiences in this life. I have wonderful and pleasing memories stored in the hippocampus which plays a tremendous role in learning and memory, and studies also have shown how it can be damaged since it is a plastic and vulnerable structure which is influenced by many stimuli (1). Since the brain can be damaged, it also has an impact on our health.
Although I have good and pleasant memories, I also harbor painful reminders from the past, some of which remain buried deeply somewhere inside awaiting the opportunity to spring forward. I am learning (still) how to process painful memories and traumatic episodes which, I suppose as a defense mechanism are being restrained at this time from being released.
Trauma brings forth a mixture of things for most people. It is like a pathway leading to a certain destination, we get used to walking the path, day after day to arrive somewhere, and then suddenly we take a different route and thus make a new path. At first the pathway takes some getting used to, but eventually it becomes normal for us to go that way - yet we may forget or overlook the other path, which still exists, although it is not being used. We must learn how to walk again on that path, or a combination of the two paths, although this will take time, and look different than the walk from before. Does this make sense? There are those pathways, they exists, they are avenues, they lead to the same area, yet one is induced through trauma experiences, and perhaps we feel inclined or obliged to move through it? I don’t know, but let me ask this question:
Do you feel guilty for the trauma you experienced?
Perhaps you think it was your fault, for whatever happened?
Maybe you think you caused it or perhaps you think it could have been avoided?
Maybe you experienced something vicariously by watching someone you know experience the trauma and you couldn’t stop it?
Maybe you have survivors guilt?
I don’t know what is happening with you, or the trauma you experienced, each person knows the anguish of their own heart. I know mine. I also know the trauma was not my fault, but perhaps and this may be controversial - maybe it was a part of the plan all along? We live in a fallen world (it is a mess), we were told clearly in the Gospel of John “In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Jesus is the One saying these words. He overcame the world, and we can overcome also, see these words found in 1 John 5:5, “Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God” (NKJV)?
We can overcome through Jesus.
Good news - we can walk together in the hope of healing! We can help one another move through memories, we can lift each other up, we can carry the burden for a while. We can offer comfort to each other.
I do want to say this - no matter what happened in your life, please understand - You have so much worth and value, you are not broken, you are being beautifully molded to continue the journey and bring hope to others. I believe this, I believe you are loved by God, He still has a wonderful purpose for you.
In another article on PTSD, these words are written:
PTSD researchers have often focused on the hippocampus, as it plays a central role in regulating stress hormones and responses through the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, and because it is also susceptible to the toxic effects of elevated glucocorticoids. (2)
Glucocorticoids are essential steroid hormones secreted from the adrenal gland in response to stress. As the author contributes, the hippocampus plays a central role in regulating stress hormones and responses, and with elevated glucocorticoids, the hippocampus and hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis are susceptible to toxic effects.
The article continues:
In the largest study of neuroimaging and PTSD to date, our multisite consortium found evidence of lower hippocampal volume in subjects with current PTSD. (2)
This particular article was written in 2018 with research and studies behind the data to produce these findings. The hippocampus plays an essential role in our health, our learning, memory and if damaged can cease to offer the functionality it was designed for. Research also discusses the role of the amygdala as well.
The article cited above took a poll of 1868 participants (794 with PTSD) to conduct the research and came up with certain findings on the impacts toward PTSD.
In the words of the authors of that study:
Many studies report smaller hippocampal and amygdala volumes in posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but findings have not always been consistent.
I am not sure if this post has been helpful or confusing. I suppose the bottom line should be simple:
If you have experienced trauma, have a diagnosis of PTSD, your life has changed.
The studies matter on many levels, but on a personal level, you are not a focus group, or meta analysis, but a person created in the image and likeness of Almighty God. He knew what you would go through in this life, and wants to walk with you through eternity. Will you trust Him?
The hippocampus may be impacted by the trauma, but the pathway may still be available to walk on, it just may be painful.
I will close out with this quote:
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” (3)
What does this mean? Well, I know the pain I am in from the trauma, I know the pathways I have walked on. There will be pain to move forward, there will also be pain to remain where you are presently. When the pain you are in now, is greater than the pain it will take to move and blossom, that is when you will see a new pathway, that is when hope and healing can take place, that is where we are the most vulnerable and the most hopeful for a miracle. That is the place where God will move.
Take a risk with me today, don’t remain where you are, blossom. The place of the tightness in a bud speaks to comfortability, not growth such as the risk it will take to move forward into the unknown, something beautiful will come forward through it all.
I am here walking with you. Will you walk alongside of me? You are loved.
(1) Anand, K. S., & Dhikav, V. (2012). Hippocampus in health and disease: An overview. Annals of Indian Academy of Neurology, 15(4), 239–246. https://doi.org/10.4103/0972-2327.104323
(2) Logue, M. W., van Rooij, S., Dennis, E. L., Davis, S. L., Hayes, J. P., Stevens, J. S., Densmore, M., Haswell, C. C., Ipser, J., Koch, S., Korgaonkar, M., Lebois, L., Peverill, M., Baker, J. T., Boedhoe, P., Frijling, J. L., Gruber, S. A., Harpaz-Rotem, I., Jahanshad, N., Koopowitz, S., … Morey, R. A. (2018). Smaller Hippocampal Volume in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: A Multisite ENIGMA-PGC Study: Subcortical Volumetry Results From Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Consortia. Biological psychiatry, 83(3), 244–253. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2017.09.006
(3) Anais Nin