Vulnerable
Today I began a relational course called ECPE. If you are not familiar with this acronym, it stands for Extended Clinical Pastoral Education. My present (civilian) employer requires CPE, or the equivalent, such as volunteer work in hospitals, or other supervised work to meet the standard to work in an environment requiring a clinical aspect to it.
The key difference with the actual CPE rather than the “equivalent” is simple - CPE helps bring the relational aspect into view - by using the experiences you have had, allowing you to be open and (the terrifying word) vulnerable.
Vulnerable with your self and others in an open, yet small core group of individuals who are going through the same course with similar experiences as you.
Why am I talking about this? As a chaplain and counselor, I am not immune to trials and tribulations, I have had my share of struggles and suffering. I will go through more suffering (and joy, don’t forget the joy), I will also have more struggles. I need to bring those struggles to the surface with a handful of individuals who won’t judge, won’t ridicule, and also won’t downplay what I discuss.
This is a vital step to healing.
Being vulnerable with those you trust brings opportunity for healing to flourish.
Think about it. It sounds daunting, perhaps the very thought of this type of vulnerability brings you anxiety and fear? I don’t know, but let me share this truth -
once you step into the hard work of healing in your life through the vulnerable expressions of your own failings, your own hurts, your own mistakes, your own trauma and suffering - you will have a weight of an exhaustive burden lifted from you.
Listen to these words - “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long” (Psalm 32:3, NIV).
The Psalmist was describing his sin before the Lord, and he said throughout this prayer that the hand of the Lord was heavy upon him (since he had unconfessed sin). The Psalmist later went on to say these words, “Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord. And You forgave the guilt of my sin” (Psalm 32:5, NIV).
God is forgiving, and also He is a Healer, and the One who wants to bring you into relationship with Him, more so now than yesterday. This is done in the vulnerability of our hearts and in the quiet confessions before Him.
Now, what if you don’t have unconfessed sin to bring to the Lord? What if the difficulties are from your haunting past? The same God who forgives sin, heals broken people if they (you and I) would call out to Him, and to one-another (don’t bring your stuff to everyone - have a handful of people you trust).
I truly believe that our suffering in silence is isolative. God did not create us for isolation but for communion and fellowship. Once we recognize that He wants to commune with us, we can begin to find a place of humble vulnerability with our own stuff - we can then share it with those we trust and begin to let the heavy burden of our concealed silence go.
The first real, and perhaps frightening step is to trust God - but let me tell you this - I have (for a lack of a better expression) tried the Lord God, I have found Him to be Faithful and True (see Revelation 19:11). He has never failed, He has never abdicated His Throne, He can be trusted through and through, without hesitation or reservation (heservation).
Does that make sense?
Today let’s learn to be vulnerable in humility and in quiet waiting for the timing of the Living God.
Be blessed in Christ as we continue the journey together -