Wounded Times
‘Wounded Times’
“The soul is the awareness of oneself as a discrete entity moving through space and time. It is the part of us that contemplates our own existence. Epictetus defined the soul as the “me” at the center of our experience. Albert Camus said the soul is “myself, that is to say, this intense emotion which frees me from my surroundings.”[1]
The soul is at the very center and essence of who we are, and often is overlooked when methods of healing come into discussion, or perhaps and even worse yet, the soul is disregarded altogether. Albert Camus defines the soul as the “intense emotion which frees him from his surroundings” poses a difficulty -simply stated, we are more than emotional beings, we are spiritual beings and as such our identity cannot be separated, or detached from the entirety of our complete being. With that being said, our identity is also not merely the sum of our trauma, although it is clearly informed within the sufferings experienced.
If an approach to healing does not consider the whole person, then sadly only part of the person is being treated. The soul, spirit, mind, body, emotions must be examined for hope to rise.
The apostle Paul, has stated, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5 [ESV]). Paul learned to be content in his circumstances, whether in prison, or in much peril, he stated, “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9 [ESV]).
What does this say about our identity? Who are we really? Well, first, we are more than the exposure to trauma and the tragic pain resulting from it. We are still image-bearers of the living God. The trauma may change us from who we once were into someone a bit different, and yet we are not the trauma, we are not the diagnosis. Often-times people walk in an identity which was never theirs to claim let-alone to walk in. We have all done it, bought into the lies of the enemy. We have walked in a label which the world gives to us, but we are so much more than our job title, our marital status, our intelligence quotient, our diagnoses.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD, but I am not PTSD, I am Kevan, I am a child, a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a child of God who bought me with the highest price, and has set me free from a label.
Don’t get me wrong, I needed to have the diagnosis so I could figure out how to move forward, but sometimes I get stuck with the label, I own the label, when really I should own my identity as being transformed daily in a new sense of normal, and as a child of God who defines me and knows me since before I was born (see Psalm 139). He knows the hairs on my head, the trauma and crisis I would be exposed to, and yet He calls me His own. I can walk in humility with this understanding and it helps me to remember who I am. I have PTSD, I am not PTSD. Sure I have times of intrusive thoughts and sleepless nights - yet I have learned and continue to relearn my identity is not the diagnosis or the silent soul wound - I am unique in my identity in the Lord as He is still molding and shaping me through the trauma, and is using it to help others and bring Him glory.
I am learning to walk in how He sees me, not as I am defined, labeled, and medicated in the world. What about you? Are you struggling in knowing who you are after the diagnosis? I challenge you and encourage you to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am known by God, He knows me and my identity is not my label or diagnosis.” You can truly say you are not who you once were! You also are not who you are created to be, and who you are becoming. Don’t allow PTSD to take your identity, you are still you. You may struggle, you may have flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, night terrors, and so-forth, but know you are still you.
As you learn daily to walk in the newness of yourself, take time, purposefully breathe, close your eyes and listen to the sound of the birds or the wind. We have lived in wounded times, which has transitioned us, but we are still more than the trauma and diagnosis.
There is hope.
[1] Tick, PHD War and the Soul, Healing Our Nation’s Veterans from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. (Wheaton, Il: Quest Books, 2005), 17.
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Thank you always,